Trying Again
Trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage has not been the same experience as it was before the last two times I was pregnant. The only way to get what we want is to risk heartbreak again and we also have to release our sense of control. Which, we obviously never actually had anyway, but the realization of course is scary. One way I can describe it is that it is like a trust fall with God. Yes, I'm talking about the stand up and fall back into the arms of someone else "exercise" we've all done before. And trying again to get pregnant is just like that but with God. He's not going to let me fall. But one thing I've realized is that "not letting me fall" does not mean I won't have another miscarriage. It does not mean I will get pregnant soon. It does not mean there is no future heartbreak. It means He is always here even in the heartbreaking and desperate times. He WILL catch me. I can trust HIM.